"Betty Leopard"

Friday, 14 August 2009

Ever the regular writer, I find myself back here in need of expressing something about the way I'm feeling. Have been tweeting a bit but find something disatisfying about twitters 140 characters sometimes.
Today has been a beautiful sunny day. Been out for lunch in the forest with colleagues. Wasn't really as much fun as it should have been. My irregular trips to the office ofen leave me feeling like an outsider amongst people I used to spend the majority of my time with. Ended up eating too much, especially after the trip to the ice cream parlour where a half litre tub was only £2 and seemed like a bargain I couldn't turn down. Still feeling full and a little over-indulged.
Now I'm home and feeling a bit mixed up. I'm lonely as my boy is out of town for the weekend seeing friends. We haven't really spent that much time apart since we got together about 5 months ago and I have barely slept alone in that time either. Being sat here on my own leaves me wondering what to do with myself. I want him here so much, the old saying you don't know what you've got til it's gone couldn't be more true. I feel like I haven't shown him enough appreciation of late between hormonal moods, suffering in the heat, being tired, having too much work to do and feeling more than a little out of shape and flabby. All I want to do right now is hold him and show him how much he means to me.
After a day out and about I'm feeling a little tired, could so easily fall asleep, although at 7.20 that's hardly a good idea. I'll have enough trouble getting to sleep tonight as it is. On the way back from lunch I had massive motivation to go to the gym and work off all that ice cream, but that quickly disappeared on my return. I intend to go tomorrow instead although I wouldn't put any money on it. The way I've been feeling I really should get some exercise. Uninspired, unmotivated, lethargic and chubby. I have conflicting desires, to go out and do something super active, to sleep or to chill out in the bath with a glass of wine. At least from once cake hasn't made it onto the list.
Working from home does very little for the waist line. Spending days sat under my laptop, eating and barely going out have added at least a few extra pounds round my hips and stomach. Really should stop moaning and get on it.

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