"Betty Leopard": February 2011

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Where is my mind?

Had a crazy few days, internally that is, nothing particularly interesting has happened.
Went through such a range of emotions yesterday. Started off feeling quite low, then just felt wreckless, wanted to get drunk and do something crazy, take all my clothes off and run around kind of thing. Then as the evening went on, and I did have a couple of drinks, my mood descended somewhat and I ended up going to bed wanting to cry. Still wasn't feeling too great this morning, and got even grumpier when I found out the dog had broken my sewing machine, and it wasn't easy to fix. Picked up a bit this afternoon, got on with crafty things rather than working today, really needed the break (especially as I'll be in the office tomorrow). This evening hasn't been as good, feeling very lonely and cut-off, just feel so isolated and abandoned. Spending too much time on my own is never good for me.
The boy is away, surprise surprise. He's been gone since Wednesday morning and won't be back til sometime on Monday. It's not his fault I'm feeling like this, I'm not even sure if I'd feel significantly different if he were here, obviously less lonely, but not necessarily better. Times like this really make me question myself and my friends. I do love my friends, but so much time on my own makes me feel so lame and boring, it makes me wonder why they'd ever bother with me. I also wish I knew more people, so there's never be an excuse for me to be completely alone. I want to be more fun, have more fun, and for some reason I only see that happening from being around 'fun' people, which is probably complete bullshit.
Basically, I have no-one else to talk to right now, so I'm talking to you, whoever you are.
I don't want to be like this, I want to be ok with being on my own, but I also want to do more things with people. Long story short, I'm a moron who needs to stop moaning and start doing.
Sorry for this. Hope you're better than me :)

Tuesday, 22 February 2011


The Chicken being me, as I backed out of my Lancome consultation last minute. I wasn't actually feeling very well at the time and my skin is truly terrible, but truth be told I kinda mostly made up my mind about it when I looked at their products online and discovered that the lovely serum I had been given a free sample of cost £75 to buy!! The Genifique Youth Activating Serum I got is a lovely product, it really does improve the texture of your skin (to the touch that is, I haven't noticed any significant improvement in skin texture when not wearing the stuff) and makes make up you apply over it look wonderful, more so than the primer I have been experimenting with. But £75! Maybe to some of you more fashionista types that sound entirely reasonable, but I'm a postgrad student who still used Clean & Clear on her spots, so to me, that sounds like an awful lot of money. Not all their products are quite so expensive, but I couldn't face the possibility of being plied with wonderful products that would bankrupt me. I still intend to get a new skin care regime, but it will have to wait until at least next month when I have some cash again.
Never fear, I am not destitute. Money situation has not been helped by the plethora of wonderful things I have been finding on eBay lately :/ In the past week I have bought a boob tube in very pale pink/nude with black swallows printed on, a Criminal Damage dress with swallows on (still running with that theme), a grey leopard print hoodie and a red dress with hearts and, yeh, swallows. I think I may have searched 'swallows' in the women's clothing section, a definite financial mistake. On the plus side I am excited about receiving lovely parcels and the prospect of new outfits and the places I can wear them does boost my mood. I'll try and photograph everything when it arrives.
Although, my ability to take photographs may be significantly impeeded by the fact that my camera has finally given up the ghost, although it did reach a ripe old age for a digital camera (the screen on the back was only an inch across!). I'm getting by using the boys camera for now, but he does like to take it away with him which means I don't have it all the time. I would like a new camera of my own but have no idea what makes a good camera, especially within a limited budget. This will require some investigation and possibly braving a proper camera shop for advice.

On a completely separate note, you may have noticed my little revamp. I very much liked the poppies, but I'm not feeling so cutesy at the moment, so I went for the ever reliable leopard print, to match a large proportion of my wardrobe. Much more me ;)


Thursday, 17 February 2011

Time Out

I've taken a little time off this morning to run some errands and get my head in order.
Needed to pop into town for yet more printer ink and some foundation, as I was running at a critically low leve of bothl. I've spent more than my monthly clothes budget on printer ink this month, which is very, very sad. Hopefully, I won't have to buy more after this, but I'm not counting my chickens yet.
For a change, I went to John Lewis instead on Boots to get my foundation. Foundation is one area of my make-up where I don't skimp and have accepted that £30 is actually a bargain for a good one. I wear Lancome Colour Ideal in 010, I like the colour and the coverage, and I also can't be bothered with scouring the beauty counters looking for an alternative. It was my first venture into liquid foundation when I first tried it, previously I had been using a pressed powder type product from Max Factor, which went on very thick and creased easily but as a teenageer I was even less inclined to engage the beauty counter ladies than I am now. Needless to say I haven't looked back, and these days my foundation is about the most grown-up part of my beauty regime.
Anyone who has stuck with me for a little while, may remember that part of my New Years Resolution list was to invest in more grown-up skin care, not that I'm concerned with being grown up or acting my age, but my skin isn't 16 any more and should probably be being treated better. So, as part of my encounter with the Lancome lady in John Lewis, and completely caught up in the little bit of glamour the experience exudes, I have an appointment for a 'complimentary' skin consultation next Tuesday. Now, I say 'complimentary' because, while there may be no charge for the actual consultation process, it would be naive to think that I will be able to leave said session without having made a couple of purchases. At least I am aware of this prior to the appointment, but I figure every girl eserves a treat once in a while, especially when she's been doing as much tedious work I as have lately. I will certainly set myself a limit of how much I will spend, but I'm pretty sure it'll need to go on the credit card til the end of the month :/ The slightly crazy part is the fact that I am a) planning what I should wear on such an occasion and b) planning on putting extra time into my skin care over the next few days to ensure I look the best I can without my make-up to impress the consultant, it's a bit like cleaning before a cleaner comes round so they don't think you're untidy. I'm all for getting a bit of glamour into everyday life, so I am actually really looking forward to being indulged.
I'm also hoping that a little bit of pampering might lift my mood a bit, as the past week or so I've been feeling a bit low. Largely it's a result of all the work I'm having to do, with no time for anything I particularly enjoy, but also the fact that the lack of time has meant my exercise programme has been put on hold and somehow I've gained about 4 pounds, taking me back over 11 stone :( It's got me down quite a lot, so anything that can lift my spirits quickly would be very welcome. Sorry, didn't want this to be another moany blog.
Anyway. I hope it is sunny where you are. Almost feels like spring.

Sunday, 13 February 2011


So I've been a little busy this week which has prevented me from blogging.
Work has been very hectic, although I am somewhat calmer about it all now, it needs to be done but I can only do so much at one time. I have spent the majority of the week sat in between my printer and 3 huge boxes containing 6000 envelopes. I have spent a fortune on ink and suffered much shoulder related pain from all the loading and unloading of the printer.
I honestly have had very little time for anything else, even windows shopping. Although I did see a pair of coral platform heels on DP :D Possibly a well deserved reward for all this hard work.
I did a nice break on Friday for the boys birthday. I did have a meeting in the morning, but once I got home I cooked us brunch, followed by presents then watching DVDs and chinese take away. It was nice to relax and spend some time with him :)
I'll still be pretty busy next week so I don't know when I'll be able to write again, I'll try and make some time.

Monday, 7 February 2011

My many faces

So I kind of mentioned yesterday that changing my hair isn't exactly a new or rarw occurance for me. To illustrate this I've put together a little collage of pics of me over the years.

These range from me at 16 in the top left all the way through to me now, at 25. Sorry for imposing so many pictures of myself on you all in one go, I can be a bit of a poser but am quite fussy about pics that I keep, given I don't actually like the way I look most of the time :/
Just a little something to keep you amused until I can post again, damn work.
Have a good week,

Sunday, 6 February 2011

I'm Blue

Don't worry, I'm not here for another moan.
I've been meaning to change my hair for a while. I like to change it up fairly regularly but have been so concerned with saving my hair from the ravages of bleach that I haven't stopped to think about colouring it for a while.
On Friday I decided enough was enough, and mixed up a pretty blue for my fringe. I wasn't actually totally sure about it at first, but I'm loving it now :)

I was in the middle of uploading a lot of pics to photobucket illustrating my various hairstyles over the years, however firefox crashed half way through so I'll just post this for now and not overload you all with pictures of me.
Good Evening,

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

My January Acquisitions

I'm sure I'm not the only one who began January with expectations of cutting back and saving a bit of cash after Christmas. I also don't expect I'm the only one who failed miserably at this and gave in to the urge to shop. Partly, this is due to the fact I love clothes and accessories, but it doesn't help that I spend the majority of my time working at my computer and I am easily distracted :/

I posted about this top when I first saw it in an email I received from Dorothy Perkins.

I've long had a soft spot for coral, although hadn't bought anything in coral before this. Unfortunatley this may be the begining of a long line of new coral items in my possesion, especially as it seems to be a key colour for spring (I'm not overly bothered about fashion, but if something I like is widely availble due to being 'on trend' it would be foolish of me to ignore the opportunity). I have also got a long term love of swallows and bird motifs in general, partly due to my tattoo fetish.
I love this top. Now it just needs to get warm enough for me to be able to wear it!!

After buying the top I decided I wanted a coral lipstick and coral nail varnish, not necessarily to all be worn at the same time though. My problem with buying make-up is that it's quite hard to pick colours on a computer screen, which is my prefered method of shopping these days. But when I came across Marks & Spencers Essentials Nail Varnishes at £2.50 (bargain!) I figured it was worth a gamble. I bought what looked like an orangey coral, a pinkey coral and a tealish green, plus a coral lipstick they also had for £6.

M&S Essential Nail Colours in Flame, Plastic Pink and Jade; Flame; Plastic Pink; M&S lippy in Coral

I haven't tried the Jade out yet, hence no picture. In all honesty, I'm not very good at wearing nail varnish. I have very little patience for sitting to let it dry in the first place, so it usually gets dented or picks up fabric textures. If I do manage to get it to dry in reasonable condition, I usually go about my daily activities with little regard for the varnish. I managed to destroy the plastic pink pretty quickly by cooking dinner which involved grating potatoes for a rosti followed by washing my hair :/ That probably doesn't sound like a great endorsement for these varnishes, but even very expensive ones don't last very long on me, which is why I rarely spend a lot on them. Neither of the 'coral' ones really met my expectations, flame is very orange and plastic pink is very pink, both are lovely in their oen right, but I'm still looking for a truly coral varnish.
Lipstick is a whole other story. I love lipstick, it makes me feel fantastic and glamourous. My bright red lippy is my favorite, but isn't always suitable. This one is more subtle but still all the glam of lipstick (over lip gloss), probably more 'appropriate', not that one always wants to be appropriate. I haven't got a pic of me wearing is as whenever I sit down to photograph things I don't have the rest of my face on, so there's no way you're getting to see it! My only concern is it has seemed a bit bitty, if that makes sense, leaving flakes on my lips, but it may just be that I have dry lips at the moment, I'll have to try it again soon to see.

Next up, a few of the purchases I made in Reading on Sunday;

Small change purse in leopard print with cute pink bow and roses
(Can't find this on their website to provide a link)

I really needed a new purse. I had a great pink glittery hard case purse that my sister got me for Christmas last year (that is 09 not 10!). I loved it, but unfortunately it just wasn't cut out for carrying the amount of change I manage to accumulate (I love change!). In my brief look around I didn't manage to find much that catered for my change needs, I'm sure you used to be able to get purses with massive change pockets as wide as the note section, but I guess that's not the fashion these days. Hence, I ended up getting a separate little purse especially for my change. Not sure if having a change purse makes me a bit of an old lady, but I'm also not sure I really care! These two are both from Accessorize, who do have a pretty good range.

Oooooo, hair accessories. I have a massive weakness for hair accessories, and a growing love for brooches, so this ticked all my boxes. I found it in Oasis and fell in love. I'm pretty sure I could make something pretty similar, but sometimes it's just nice to buy yourself something. I've still had a look into fabric and will probably have a shot at making more anyway.

Swallow brooch
(Can't find this online to provide a link)

Following on my birdy theme from the blouse, another Oasis find that I had to have. No idea where/when I'm going to wear it. I really like brooches but not sure in what situation I can make use of them yet. I love this so much I'm contemplating putting it on a chain and wearing it as a necklace just so I can show it off.

I've bought other bits and pieces along the way, but you don't need to know about everything I buy! Do you?
A new month means a new lot of money and I'm pretty sure it won't be long before I start on my February purchases :)

What Stigma?

If you're on twitter and/or have an interest in mental illness, check out the #whatstigma discussions going on today. Apart from a few idiots, it's largely a lot of very brave people sharing their experiences of mental illness.