"Betty Leopard": True Hate

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

True Hate

Abuse. Hating. Bullying. Trolling.

Whatever you call it, it's not that new and there has been a lot said about internet based abuse and hate recently. While I have been fortunate enough to not have been the victim of any such attacks myself, I am increasingly aware of hateful comments, tweets and discussions targeted at bloggers, tweeters and others who engage in social media.

This really makes me really very sad.

As a result of my health, I  have to put quite a lot of effort into making myself feel good on almost a daily basis. Happiness is powerful and precious and deserves the energy invested in seeking it out and holding on to it. To my mind, hate is a complete waste of time and emotional energy. No one benefits from hate, not the hater, the hatee or anyone surrounding either of them.

I understand that people can't always agree or think and feel the same way, but what does expressing your opposition through anger, hate, vitriol or venom gain for you? Nothing.
Now, I'm all for debate and discussion. But, it's not as though people are just expressing an opposing opinion in a calm, reasonable manner either. These attacks can be personal and malicious, even threatening.
The television and radio presented Richard Bacon received personal threats as well as attacks targeted at his mother, wife and new born son. What kind of person does that? And Why!?
I have also seen hateful comments on blogs calling bloggers all kinds on unnecessary nasty things.

It might be a bit of a cliché, but really, if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all.
Why do some people think manners and common decency don't apply on the internet?

I really find the whole thing very distressing. I am frequently fearful of ever being the subject of any degree of online abuse, as I know it will destroy my passion for blogging and could risk all the hard work I have put into building myself up in recent years.

I don't want to go all 'happy-clappy, group-hug, heal-the-world' etc, because that's just not realistic, but if people put even a fraction of the effort they put into this online hate into actually making someone feel good, we'd all be much better off.

I expect most of you reading this aren't the kind of people who would engage in this kind of behaviour, so there's not much point in giving any advice on it really, but, on the off chance you are -'Next time you think about saying something nasty, just don't. Take a deep breath, count to 10, and move on with your life.
Try smiling at someone instead, you'll probably both feel better for it.


Thanks for reading,


  1. I am a firm believer that what you put out in the world comes back to you. That being said, I am by nature a pretty negative person. I tend to see bad before I see good. I am making a huge effort to think and act differently, but at 34 it can be challenging.
    As a blogger I try to never say anything mean or negative about anyone. I want to be honest in my opinions, but you can be honest without being mean. I have not had any negative comments or remarks left on my blog but I have seen them on others. I do not know why people feel the need to say such mean things. I just always try to stay out of those kinds of conversations and to avoid them happening on mine. So far so good! Hopefully you never experience it either!

    1. I too have quite a tendency to be negative, but I do find that when I put in the effort to be positive I feel better in myself :) x

  2. You go lovely, so pleased I've read this post simply because I've seen a lot on Twitter recently from other bloggers I really like who seem to be experiencing troll antics towards them. They need to get a grip of their jealousy streak big time!

    Eda ♥

    Candyfloss Curls, Cupcakes & Couture

    Follow me on twitter @BloggerEda

    1. I see it more and more often, it's even upsetting when it's happening to someone else. No-one gains anything from it :( x

  3. What a lovely post!

    It makes me sick to the stomach when I see things like online trolling you've only got to pick up the newspaper or watch the news to see that the latest teenager to commit suicide was a victim of internet trolling and bullying. It's because these people are sitting behind a screen that they do it in the first place as I am pretty certain that they would never have the balls to say it to people's faces.

    I always remember this random fact that I learnt from my head of year at secondary school -

    "It only takes 7 muscles in your body to smile, it takes the rest to frown"

    ... and I carry that around with me everywhere.

    Lovely blog hun


    1. Thank you my dear.
      That's a lovely quote, even if you have to force a smile at first you usually start to feel better and will end up smiling naturally in the end :) x

  4. It makes me sad to think that there are people out there with nothing better to do than put others down. I agree with you and think we'd all be better off if we used our efforts towards making people feel good.

    Good for you for speaking your mind - I hope you never lose your passion for blogging.



    1. Thanks you. Efforts put into positive things are worth so much more than those put into negative things :) x

  5. This is a great post - and I totally agree with the saying 'if you don't have anything nice to say...'. I have twice been the target of nasty comments on my blog - and it is horrible. I think the worst bit is both comments were anonymous - so it felt like being attacked in the dark - it could be anyone. I have never left a mean comment on someone else's blog, if I don't like what someone is wearing, or the way they write, I just close the window and go and find one I do like to comment on. xx

    1. So sorry you have had nasty comments, your blog is great! So many of them seem to be anonymous as well!
      I totally agree, even if I don't really like what someone is wearing or writing about, I'll just stop reading and get on with life, it's much more productive! x

  6. Loved reading this post as I completely agree 100% with what your saying!! I cant believe people would leave horrible comments its beyond me! Also I have nominated you for the Liebster award on my blog, If you would like to do it that would be great but I no they can take forever!! haha

    Holly xx http://her-daydreams.blogspot.co.uk/

    1. Oh thank you. I'll have a look into that.
      Thanks for reading

  7. Great post, its so sad that people are obviously so negative in their own lives that they try and bring others down to their pathetic level!

    1. Thank you.
      It's a shame some people feel like that, we should just try to try and pick those negative people up and show them that positivity is so much more rewarding :)


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